Please take a look at Voices from the Hellmouth before reading this. More links to come later, perhaps.
One of the hallmarks of science fiction is the way in which it serves as a distorted mirror of society. It tends to look at some subset of the human condition, and places it at the center of attention. Ender's Game, a novel by Orson Scott Card, is no exception to this.
Ender's Game has been called by some "Adolescent." This is almost exactly true. Ender's game is targeted at an adolescent audience, and through fiction manages to depict the process of growing up geek, and places it at the center of a novel encompassing the fate of mankind.
Ender experiences many of the same things that the geeks experience while growing up. (Obviously, some of the events are distorted as to exaggerate them, but the parallels are there nonetheless.) He experiences resentment due to his performance in the game. He is rejected for his appearance, for his quickness to learn, for his willingness to challenge accepted technique, and a whole host of other reasons.
This is shown in the book in a host of ways. He rapidly learns the rules of the games that they play, everything from the first holographic combat game to the battle game to command school. (The only game he doesn't seem to master is the fantasy game, and that's because the rules are constantly shifting. This is probably while he keeps on coming back to that one.)
Ender not only learns the various games, however... he masters them. He innovates new strategies in the battle game. Indeed he constantly innovates in the game, often causing resentment towards others. This resentment occasionally is unleashed in the form of physical attacks directed at Ender. This drives him towards his breaking point.
By placing Ender in a borderline situation, Card can isolate him from many of the social damping mechanisms that are present in our society. The atmosphere of the battle and command schools encourages conflict, and he is discouraged from seeking support from others.He is instead isolated by his controllers, and encouraged, rather than discouraged, to operate near his breaking point. Indeed, it seems to be part of the plan that he will snap at the climax of a campaign.
What are these damping mechanisms? Well, there are several. Ender was intentionally isolated from an adult influence, which usually serves to calm a situation. Most of his relationships with companions were severed as he was thrown from assignment to assignment, depriving him of even sustained friendships with people his own age.
Instead, he is removed from any situation in which he develops a support group. At first, this is done by physical removal, as he is separated from his launchie group and transferred from army to army. Later, both at battle and command school, he is isolated by rank as a leader. The isolation, coupled with increasing pressure, was part of a coordinated plan to drive him to, and past, his breaking point.
And that's the thing, that's one of the points of this novel. It's that Ender, and by analogy all like him, can be pushed too far, to do things that he would late regret. And yet, at the end, Ender finally takes responsibility for his actions, despite the fact that they were forced onto him. (He does this by writing the Hive Queen and the Hegemon, and becoming the Speaker for the Dead.) And so must those like him.